things that nobody asked me but this is the answer
interviewer: do you know what your brain is made up of?
me: yes. corn syrup, sugar, modified corn starch, dextrose, water, gelatin, tetrasodium pyrophosphate, artificial flavor and blue 1.
interviewer: if i’m not mistaken, those are the ingredients in marshmallows.
well i thought you said dowsing rods not dowelling rods. so now the wedding cake is kind of haunted, but it’s okay because people can just eat around the supernatural bits.
i like the deli. not the one next to my house, but the one a block past that on the corner. everyone who works there is creepy and mean, and they tell me i look like a teenager even though i saw some grey hairs on my head one time. and you can buy some peanuts for a quarter, too.
christopher abbott quit girls, so i decided these are some logical ideas that could help lena dunham to write him off. (see also: time machine mishaps, brian williams mishaps, wizardry mishaps, etc.)
today i was with friends and they asked me what i would be pursuing career-wise if i wasn’t already doing what i was doing. i didn’t even have to think about it; i said i’d be glad to work as a cashier in a rite aid (or equivalent) and keep all my brain power for myself. (and i really mean that.)