things that nobody asked me but this is the answer

interviewer: do you know what your brain is made up of?

me: yes. corn syrup, sugar, modified corn starch, dextrose, water, gelatin, tetrasodium pyrophosphate, artificial flavor and blue 1.

interviewer: if i’m not mistaken, those are the ingredients in marshmallows.

me: yes.

well i thought you said dowsing rods not dowelling rods. so now the wedding cake is kind of haunted, but it’s okay because people can just eat around the supernatural bits.

sometimes these feel like the most important two photographs i have ever taken.

i like the deli. not the one next to my house, but the one a block past that on the corner. everyone who works there is creepy and mean, and they tell me i look like a teenager even though i saw some grey hairs on my head one time. and you can buy some peanuts for a quarter, too.

cardigans-obsessed this week. (CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP.)

(Source: madrushat7pm)

christopher abbott quit girls, so i decided these are some logical ideas that could help lena dunham to write him off. (see also: time machine mishaps, brian williams mishaps, wizardry mishaps, etc.)

http://nyc.brightestyoungthings.com/articles/7-ideas-for-how-to-write-charlie-off-girls.htm

sometimes you wake up with a hangover and use crayons to write a letter to your mom.

today i was with friends and they asked me what i would be pursuing career-wise if i wasn’t already doing what i was doing. i didn’t even have to think about it; i said i’d be glad to work as a cashier in a rite aid (or equivalent) and keep all my brain power for myself. (and i really mean that.)