SO FAR AWAY, BUT STILL SO NEAR. (THE LIGHTS GO ON, THEN SYBIL DIES.)
did you guys know that chat roulette means “cat wheel” in french? because it DOES.
the strangest dream i’ve ever had.
one day i was taking a nap in buenos aires. it was very hot.* then i heard voices and realized my roommate’s family had turned up unannounced. it was annoying. i almost called her to tell them to beat it, but i tried to go back to sleep.
suddenly the voices had gone, and for a moment i thought maybe the people had been ghosts. i went to the kitchen, but there was still one woman left; she smiled at me. i went back to my room to try to sleep again.
just as i was falling asleep, i felt like something was crawling in my hair, so i sat straight up and started shaking it out with my hands. butterfly wings started falling. i got up to go to the hallway, and the apartment began filling up with bugs that were all different colors and sizes. i knew i had to get out of there, so i flung open the front door to escape; on either side of me in the stairwell, there were two massive frogs that came to my chest in height. this is when i realized i was probably dreaming.
i wanted to touch the frogs, but i thought for a moment that there was a small chance i wasn’t dreaming, that they were real, and that they were poisonous. i didn’t touch them. i left the building, trying to wake myself up all the while.
next thing i know, i’m waking up on a couch in a house that might be mine, but i’m not sure. i begin to see it’s not my house, and i start to panic; i know i’m dreaming, and i’m afraid i will never wake up. but then, i decide that if i’m dreaming and am conscious of it, i should at least try to make the best of the situation. so i decided to start breaking the law and fucking shit up.
i went outside and heard music approaching, and i saw there was a truck driving up. (that was the best part; the music gradually got louder…somehow my brain added those tiny details.) i decided i would steal the truck (because, it being a dream and all, there would be no real repercussions), but then i noticed some sinister-looking men approaching from the far corner of the yard, near the woods. i knew i was afraid of them.
as they got closer, i could see that one had the head of a praying mantis, and i was especially afraid of him. my fear almost made me forget that i was dreaming, but once i regained my thought process, i decided to give myself a super power to keep them away. i tried to give myself the ability to shoot lightning from my hands, but i accidentally gave it to the praying mantis man. then, i gave myself the ability to create earthquakes by jumping up and down, so i did that and ran in the other direction. i’d bought myself some time, and eventually i lost them.
i finally came upon a flag pole that looked like a stalagmite and stared at it for a while. and then i woke up (for real) in my bed in buenos aires.
*everything after this point was, in fact, a dream. a very bizarre, multi-layered dream in which i realized i was dreaming.
"It was a surprise but it didn’t disturb me. We came out of the hospital and I was feeling high, elated. Normally I suffer from depression, and I thought maybe this was a reaction, but then a few nights later I was sitting in my room upstairs. I’ve got my room really nice, and it feels great sitting in there with my things around me. And I thought: ‘I love being in my room.’ Normally, I’d be sitting there thinking: ‘My room is very groovy … but I’m really hung up about this.’ I’d be worrying away about some rubbish. And now, suddenly, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered. I’m just sitting here in my room, and I love this room, and ain’t this nice just sitting here? And I realised: you are alive and you are existing in the moment. You’re not worried about the tax return. And it’s a bloody good feeling being alive. Sometimes this feeling is almost ecstatic, and I can say that I haven’t plunged into despair at all."
here are some examples of good questions to ask in an interview. i know because i asked them to christoph hochheim: